Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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