she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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