ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Everything about him screamed your future.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
