So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
