I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
