I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
