whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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