She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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