im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
