Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
