Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
