just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
