I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
