Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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