did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
