i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize