It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
