whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
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