Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
