Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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