I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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