Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
