speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
