Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
