I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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