my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
