My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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