I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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