They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
