I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
