I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
