this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Boobs are out for the taking
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
