"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
