brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How does it feel to date your dad?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
