The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
