I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
