i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
