i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
