You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
