you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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