it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
