You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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