make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize