The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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