My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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