Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
