just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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