You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
