is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
