i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize