is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
