Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize