i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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