Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
