No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
