I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
