U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
