So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
