what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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