69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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