There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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